


The Boyfriend Effect

by Artsea03



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Family, Gen, John is a Bit Not Good, LGBTQ+ characters, M/M, Non-Chronological, Non-Linear Narrative, OOC, Poor space bagel, Sad John, Secrets, TAG 2015, headcanons, non-binary charater, not sure what the title has to do with this yet btw, other stuff, probably, stuff like that, they/them pronouns, tw: self-harm mentions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 14:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13592361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artsea03/pseuds/Artsea03
Summary: John Tracy has four secrets he hasn’t shared with his family.They weren’t massively large secrets, nor were they inherently important, but they were secrets nonetheless.John, don't keep secrets from your family. They'll find out eventually.





	The Boyfriend Effect

**Author's Note:**

> This could not have been done without my amazing co-writer Charley, who, unfortunately, doesn't have an account here so. 
> 
> Please enjoy our angst. 
> 
> (small trigger warning for self-harm, but its not very explicit.)

John Tracy has four secrets he hasn’t shared with his family.

His blood family, and the small extension made up of Kayo, Brains, Lady Penelope and the likes. 

They weren’t massively large secrets, nor were they inherently important, but they were secrets nonetheless.

* * *

Callie had a very self-contradictory personality.

There was an undeniable connection between the two strangers, as clichéd as it sounds. Their friendship was small, to start, as most friendships are, and they met through a mutual acquaintance during their second year of high school.

Soon it was almost as if they’d know each other they’re whole lives. They’d both successfully entered courses at Harvard, not that there was ever any doubt; they no longer kept anything from the other, until the day the world they’d built was destroyed it one swift blow. 

Their limbs entangled and they’re bodies had melded together, auburn curls spilling over the pillow, ginger strands brushed away from crystalline eyes. They re-lived inside jokes and happy days, quiet laughter and breath mingling. Fingers entwined as they breathed the smell of each other in, savouring the last day of they’re friendship, before they were ripped apart from each other, and forever missing a piece of themselves. 

He has never loved anyone more than he loved his best friend.

* * *

 

John had insisted that he go up for another run down the snowy mountain. Lucille had agreed to take him up, leaving Jeff and the four boys down in the ski resort. He’d begged her to show him how to snowboard, because then he’d be more like Scotty.

It took him a few tries to get his feet steady, and to not topple over. He eventually gained his balance, and the two of them went down the mountain, once, twice, three times, as John continued to gain confidence. They headed up for the fourth time, reaching the top with no troubles. 

John fell over his own feet into the snow, laughing. Lucille picked up the giggling boy, laughing with him. But then the ground started rumbling, and someone shouted avalanche! 

And the people on the mountain scrambled, screaming. 

Lucy, holding a confused and scared John, calmly looked around for something to hide behind. There was a small outcropping, close by, and she carried him over, telling him that every was going to be okay, and that mommy would protect him.

She was holding him close as the snow and ice and rock roared over their heads. 

John heard a voice calling his name, and he opened his eyes. It was bright, but it the way that was blinding and uncomfortable.  

Lucille told John to look at her. She was shivering, lips blue, and looked as though she’d  been crying softly. But she was relieved, hold ingher boy close. John hugged her, trying to get warm. Johnny listen, she’d said. Johnny, mommy loves you very much, and mommy will always be with you. Johnny.

He’d wondered why her back had been so sticky, and he didn’t know why it was so hard to breathe. 

When someone pulled him out of the snow he was screaming, he didn’t want to let go, he just wanted Mommy.

John wasn’t meant to find out, but he had overheard someone saying she’d died from a combination of a blow to the back of her head, oxygen deprivation and hypothermia. 

John had been knocked unconscious by falling ice, and a rock had hit her in the back of her head, after she curled herself around John so he wouldn’t get hit again.

If he hadn’t been there, they’d still have a mother. No one ever said it like that. They all knew it was true.

* * *

 

His first kiss wasn’t how he’d expected, but then, they never are. He’d never really thought about it, nor did he particularly care, either. 

Callie had brought the new kid, Liam, over to sit with them, after they’d found him sitting by himself in the corridor.

We can’t have a smarty pants like you wasting away in a gloomy corridor, they’d remarked. And John laughed as Liam was forcefully plonked down onto the bench, and into their lives. 

Liam was, without a doubt, the smartest person John has ever known. Maybe not conventionally smart, no, but his strategies in sports and in video and board games was incredible. He was good at maths, too. He planned on becoming an analyst or strategist for the GDF, and John knew he would be amazing at whatever he did. 

The last week of their senior year came along, they had decided to go stargazing.

They were lying on the grass together, cicadas gently chirping in the background. 

Liam had whispered shyly, asking if he could kiss John. 

John’s brain had short-circuited then, because he’d never thought of being kissed, not even fleetingly.

And suddenly his friend of two years had asked, softly, shyly, almost like he was scared to.

So, John said yes.

And then Liam’s lips were there, and then they weren’t and Liam was turned away from him, hiding his face.

John hadn’t know until then, but it was obvious now. 

He whispered that he loved Liam too and then he was resting his head on John’s chest and everything was perfect. Because yes, John had never loved anyone more than his best friend.

But he’d never loved anyone the way he loved his boyfriend.

* * *

 

He couldn’t remember how or when they started but he knew they were just little scratches to start with. 

Maybe they started when Gordon easily beat his personal best in the pool. He was crushed, knowing that he was never going to be the best at a sport in his family again. He supposed that could have been it. He wasn’t sure. 

Maybe they started when he sat alone at lunch because no one wanted to be friends with him. That could have been the start, too. Again, he wasn’t sure. 

Maybe they’d even started when he no longer sat alone, but the names and pushing and shoving got worse. He wouldn’t be able to tell you if it started then.

But none of that mattered because they got deeper and longer and harder to hide. 

But he did hide them. 

And he didn’t want to stop because they were a good way to fight all the other pain.

He stopped when they’d asked him to. Callie, Liam, they’d known. They were the only ones who did. And neither of them wanted it to go on, so they’d made him promise to stop.

So, slowly, the amount they came in dwindled. Because he always keeps his promises. 

And yes, he’d stopped.

But the scars were still there. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! 
> 
> Thank you for reading this mess.
> 
> New chapters soon, and hopefully quickly, so stay tuned.
> 
> Kudos and comments are life <3


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